This is my last post before Christmas. We’ve definitely entered the yearly reflection season here on the blog. I wish you a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday Season whatever you celebrate ❤️ 

I read 15 nonfiction books this year.

Eleven of these were picks for Pearls of Wisdom, my nonfiction book club over on Fable.

My nonfiction reading started out strong in 2023 and quickly tapered off to just my book club reading. Those extra books were read in the first two months of the year. One was a parenting book and the others were part of my deep dive into the enneagram.

Nearly all of these reading experiences were 4 stars and up. I had just one 3.5-star read.

Below in my nonfiction roundup for the year, I share links to my reviews for each of these books. I also share my most memorable takeaway from every read.

Looking back at these titles at the end of the year feels like a nice reflection exercise. It also helps me solidify a message from each one to take forward into the new year!

After all it’s that space for reflection that allows ideas to move from our reading lives to our real lives.

Nonfiction Roundup: All the Nonfiction Books I Read in 2023 with my Biggest Takeaway

From Pearls of Wisdom Book Club

Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley

I gave this book 5 stars and you can find my review back in my mid January reading recap.

Just thinking about this book and how it helped me at the beginning of this year has me tearing up.

I started off the year with a heavy hitting nonfiction choice. But it was exactly the book I needed as I said good-bye to a loved one passing away from a terminal cancer. I have a tendency to avoid things that make me uncomfortable or that I don’t know how to handle. Shying away from this situation would have been something I’d always regret.

Final Gifts gave me an idea of what to expect when someone is near the end of life and actively dying. This helped so being with a dying person and seeing their physical decline wasn’t so scary. It allowed me to deal with some of my own fears and feelings ahead of time so I could then offer love and support to others.

I felt more prepared to see the transition and was familiar with the physical stages of dying thanks to this book. I was able to recognize some things as normal that otherwise would have been quite unnerving or alarming. It also helped me know what to say – letting that person know how much I loved them, that it was ok to go, that we would miss them but we would be ok – and how to say thank you as well as goodbye.

As sad as this book was, it was also priceless.

Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters by Laura Vanderkam

I gave this book 4 stars and you can find my review in my mid February reading recap.

The idea that made the biggest impression on me is that there are ways to slow down our experience of time.

Anything that veers off the routine path or creates nostalgia can give us a sense that time is moving slower. It snaps our brains out of their autopilot rhythms and helps us pay more attention.

One way Vanderkam creates this effect regularly in her life is by including one small adventure and one big adventure in her weekly schedule. That practice gives a sense of new experience and the anticipation of something to look forward to.

Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Dr. Becky Kennedy

I gave this book 5 stars and you can find my review back in my March Wrap Up.

Oh my goodness I have so many takeaways from this book! A few that come up often in our family though are remembering MGI – what is the Most Generous Interpretation of this situation? – that two things can be true, and to know your roles.

That last one particularly helps as it applies to food when we’re going through a picky eating phase with our son. My role is to say where, when, and what we’re eating. My son’s job is to let us know which of those choices he wants to eat and how much. We want to respect his autonomy and also encourage him to trust his own body and its needs. He knows when he’s hungry and when he’s full.

A phrase I love using that I got from this book is “You’ll know when you’re ready”.  We went through a period where he was interested but also tentative to go down slides by himself at the park. This phrase helps me remember not to push him to do things before he may be ready, but instead trust that he knows and let him guide me.

The overall message of this book, that everyone is good inside, has stuck with me and I love the affirmation that Dr. Becky also ends every Good Inside podcast episode with – “Even as I struggle and even as I have a hard time on the outside, I remain good inside”.

Already Enough: A Path to Self-Acceptance by Lisa Olivera

This book was so dense, we spread it over two months for our Pearls of Wisdom book club. I gave it 4 stars. You can find my review in my May reading wrap up.

This is another book with a great core message. It’s similar to Good Inside with that emphasis on how you’re already enough.

Unfortunately I didn’t find the delivery of that message to be very effective. To be honest this book was a little too heavy on information for me. By trying to take it all in, I don’t remember much.

It was a beast of a book to get through because there aren’t really chapters just massive 100+ page sections so the formatting of the book wasn’t helpful for absorbing or remembering information.

Each topic led to unpacking your past, understanding why you are the way you are, and what healing you have left to do. I found that interesting but I was also overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work Olivera was prescribing.

There were lots of great questions if you want to dig into your past but as I realized from a book we’ll get into later down the line, this isn’t where my current interest lies.

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD

I gave this book 5 stars and you can find my review in my mid June reading recap.

There are many questions and conversations in this book that I would still love to explore with my partner.

Recently we’ve been tackling our different backgrounds and feelings around money and financial planning. While we tend toward the same end goals, it’s definitely a hot button when it comes to discussion. It’s one of the chapters in this book and probably a great one to review.

My most memorable takeaway from Eight Dates is the importance of staying curious about your partner. You don’t want to fall into the trap of thinking you know everything about them. That “stay curious” idea seems to be the key to a lifetime of love.

This book or The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work also by John Gottman, PhD are both great books on marriage to return to regularly.

Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

I gave this one 6 stars! You can find my review in my July wrap up.

This is the book that made me realize why Already Enough might not have been what I needed at that moment. Everything is Figureoutable is quick to point out that life coaching and therapy are very different things and my interest in self improvement lies with the first.

While I do enjoy making connections to my past that help me understand reasons why I may be the way that I am, I’m more interested in moving forward as happy and healthy as possible in my life than I am in digging up or revisiting the past.

My most memorable takeaway from this book is the title. That almost feels like a cheat answer, but it’s honest. I shared a lot of the epiphanies and things I loved from reading this book with my husband. We regularly use the phrase “everything is figureoutable” now to try to reframe a situation when things are getting difficult and support a mindset that we can figure it out as we move forward.

All of the changes that have happened with the blog in the second half of this year were kick started by this book!

The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits that Will Set You Free by Melissa Urban

I gave this book 4.5 stars and you can find my review in my August reading wrap up.

This is another one where several takeaways come to mind.

The first thing is actually an exercise Urban shared for helping couples when they’re having a disagreement called The Magic Number. You rate how important the thing you’re asking for is to you on a scale of 1-10 (say having the counters clear of clutter). Your partner rates how important it is to them to have the opposite (keeping clutter on the counters). It often works out to allow the issue to go in the direction of the partner who puts more importance on it.

Another takeaway was just having a definition of a boundary and not seeing it as a negative or something mean or as a method of control.

“Boundaries mark the limits of behaviors that are acceptable to you, where words or actions beyond that limit cause you harm or make you feel unsafe.”

“A boundary doesn’t tell someone else what to do, it tells them what you will do.”

“Boundaries are how we care, stay supportive, and give to those we love without sacrificing our own health and happiness in the process.”

When reading through the many examples of setting boundaries that Urban shares and her color coding system of green, yellow, and red, I realized I have a tendency to ignore or let things go for awhile and then jump right into a red boundary which isn’t nice for anyone.

The final takeaway is her YCDIAWYW which stands for “You can do it any way you want”. She applies this to romantic partnerships. You can set things up within the relationship however it works for both you and your partner/s. And who gives a shit what anyone else thinks!

I whole heartedly agree and have also tried to apply this to other areas of life – my reading life, our holiday traditions, planning methods, etc.

The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger, MD and Marc Schulz, PhD

I gave this book 4 stars. You can find my review in my September wrap up.

The main message of this book is that social connections are more important than we realize for our health and happiness. I love the discovery that they also take less time to maintain than we often think.

What was cool about my reading experience here was it corresponded with a visit from my dad. I realized how true this idea was.

We had so much more fun in that dedicated week together. Even though we now live 2000 miles away, it was filled with more meaningful connections and conversations than we ever managed to have when we lived closer.

When you live far apart or are in the midst of busy family life, it’s exciting to realize that setting a little bit of space aside for dedicated social time can have a really positive impact your relationships. While family is important I want to make time for friends a priority too. I have a girls weekend with my now long distance best friend planned near the beginning of 2024.

Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross

I gave this book 5 stars. This was my first book doing an in-depth nonfiction book review, which you can find here.

My most memorable takeaway from this book remains the author’s call for people not to hate their inner voice. It’s there for a reason and instead of wishing for its silence, make it work for you.

There were so many practical application methods for doing this, but most come down to tools for finding distance and perspective from the problem you’re facing. When you can gain distance, you also give yourself the space to think through it to solutions.

I also continue to appreciate the idea that it’s ok and even normal to have a rich interior life. Personally I feel I spend so much time in my head, not necessarily negatively. The idea that we’ve evolved to do that was a welcome message contrasting with all the “be in the moment” and “be present” advice right now.

I loved the author’s toolbox review at the back of this book. I’ve taken to thinking of my nonfiction reading journey this way. I want to collect ideas and methods from what I read that work for me to add to my own toolkit for life.

Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World by Gretchen Rubin

I gave this book 4 stars and you can find my in-depth nonfiction review here.

I read this one just last month so it feels very fresh still. Some ideas that I hope to hold onto moving forward are the importance of knowing yourself, that play isn’t idleness, and the fun, growth, and wisdom you can gain from self-experiments.

I’m still curious about revisiting The Happiness Project. Perhaps that’s something to put on the idea list for next year’s nonfiction reading.

Another takeaway is more related to my reading life in general. I may need to take a little more care with my book choices right now. Both this book and Tranquility by Tuesday are centered on the point that our time is short and how to make the most of it.

That concept is one I’m very familiar with especially this year with a death in the family and my dad’s ongoing cancer battle. I have a lot of reminders of that and deal with a lot of anxiety over losing loved ones, how to offer support, my own mortality, and wondering what comes after death. In this season of life, I’m not sure I want to pick up books that add to that anymore than I’m already feeling.

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, PhD

I gave this book 4.5 stars. My in-depth review will be coming in January.

But spoiler, a lot of this book blew my mind! It was a bit of a shock to discover how often I find myself in a fixed mindset. I definitely want to cultivate more of a growth one.

My biggest takeaway though was the effects of praise on children and how dangerous praise can be when it comes to mindset. This is something I have been aware of from reading parenting books like Gentle Discipline (seen below) and the above, Good Inside, but I always appreciate a refresher on this topic.

Dweck shared the studies and the data surrounding this issue. Not just the data on the dangers, but also the data that supports changing the way we praise. She give scenarios that break down the message the child is hearing when we offer different types of praise.

I appreciated the emphasis on how to praise effort that is linked to learning rather than natural ability, ease of learning, or outcome. I highlighted many of her dialogue examples of how to do this.

Other Nonfiction Reads

Gentle Discipline: Using Emotional Connection – Not Punishment – To Raise Confident, Capable Kid by Sarah Ockwell-Smith

I gave this book 4.5 stars and you can find my review back in my mid January reading recap.

This book was my first venture into an authoritative parenting approach. It was an eye opening entry point.

I originally listened to this one on audio and went on to purchase a physical copy of the book to have on hand for reference. A couple of months ago, I found myself reviewing the beginning chapters after Mr. O turned two years old and the tantrum switch seemed to flip to ON!

I believe this was also the first book that introduced me to the dangers of praise. Although to be fully transparent, praise is such an ingrained habit I’ve both needed and appreciated the breakdown of it in many of the nonfiction books I’ve read this year including Good Inside and Mindset, both of which I discussed above.

I may be revisiting this author soon. We’re entering potty training time at our house and I want to read her book Ready, Set, Go. I also have the audio for How to Be a Calm Parent so January may be the month of reading nonfiction picks from Sarah Ockwell-Smith. We shall see.

Enneagram Titles

• The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile (5 stars, review in my January Wrap Up)
• The Story of You: An Enneagram Journey to Becoming Your True Self by Ian Morgan Cron (4 stars, review in my mid February reading recap)
• The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships by Suzanne Stabile (3.5 stars, review in my mid February reading recap)

To be honest I can’t recall a ton from these three books. I read them at the very beginning of 2023.

I ultimately concluded I’m an enneagram 1 after reading The Road Back to You.

In The Story of You, I remember wishing there was more applicable information for how to actually identify and change the stories we’re stuck in.

I understand why all enneagram books address the overall framework but it would be interesting to find a book that explores or tackles improvement for each type.

My deep dive into this topic is on a bit of a hold. Some other resources I found interesting when I was learning more about this framework were the Typology podcast also with Ian Morgan Cron, The Enneagram Journey with Suzanne Stabile, and Enneagram & Coffee with Sarajane Case who also has a book called The Honest Enneagram (I listened to part of the audiobook before losing interest in this topic) and a popular instagram exploring the enneagram if that’s your thing.

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Tell me about a nonfiction book that you read this year. What message or idea has stuck with you from that title? What nonfiction books are you hoping to learn from in the new year?